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For most of us, the only thing we need to do is to eat less and exercise more. It's that simple. But that would require a radical change in our lifestyle, so we prefer to try an easier way. We prefer one of the diet techniques that guarantees maximum weight loss with minimum effort.
There are so many diets being promoted today, that the novice is clueless as to which might be the right one for him. And so, this new diet successfully combines all the positive features of all the others... so you should see results almost immediately. Some users of this diet have reported success in losing more pounds of "ugly fat," than their total body weight!
On the first day, you eat only grapefruit. If you don't like grapefruit, try spinach or asparagus.
On the next day, you eat 27 tiny meals, and no big meals. This way, you never leave your stomach stuffed with food.
On the next day, you eat only meat, cheese, eggs, etc.
On the next day, you take some of those diet pills you find at the local drug store.
On the next day, you become vegetarian.
On the next day, you eat only organic foods. It doesn't matter what they are, as long as you can find them growing in the wild - but not next door to that nuclear power plant.
On the next day, you "binge and purge, binge and purge." If you don't know what "binge and purge" is, you won't want to know. In this case, skip to the next step.
On the next day, you "watch your carb's." You might try watching them twice... maybe it will be twice as effective!
On the next day, you eat an entire watermelon. Or else two cantaloupes before each meal. That way, you won't have much room for that horrible fat-forming food.
On the next day, you eat a huge breakfast, and only tiny meals the rest of the day.
On the next day, you buy one of those exercise machines - the ones that are advertised by beautiful, skinny women. Then you can store it somewhere in the attic or basement.
On the next day, you take those expensive pills available only at that 1-800 number - the ones you eat so many of, that they almost constitute a whole meal by themselves.
On the next day, you eat everything you want, but in only small amounts.
On the next day, you drink 5 glasses of water before each meal.
On the next day, we say nice things about you, at your funeral.
Dennis Hinks © 2004